Most marriages face external stressors at different points which can affect how the participants interact with each other. Once poor communication starts (whether not communicating enough, or communicating in disrespectful ways), it can become a vicious cycle of hard to change habits and can be very damaging to a marriage. Mariage counselling can help to fix some of these communication issues.
Active listening
One of the poor communication habits which can arise is failing to listen to the other person respectfully. This can include not making eye contact, staring at phones or other screens when talking or interrupting the other person and telling them that they are wrong. This can cause people to shut down and stop communicating.
One of the ways that marriage counselling can help this is by teaching people how to listen actively, and role playing conversations where both conversation participants can get a chance to have their say without being interrupted. This can lead to people attempting more communication out of the counselling sessions.
Emotionally overcharged conversations
When the conversations become patchy and poor, things can often reach boiling point before conversations start. This can lead to emotionally overcharged conversations which are framed around all the things the other person is failing to do, for example, "You never put out the rubbish bins and I have to do all the work in the house". Having early and smaller levels of communication can help to resolve these issues before they become serious.
It can often be useful to look at the ways that items are being communicated - for example having a board with chores that need to be done or items to buy can be more successful for some people than relying on verbal communication. Looking at the ways that each person absorbs information can be useful as some people are not as able to absorb information when distracted for example. Frequent communication can be invaluable in helping marital harmony.
Planning positive communication
Making an effort to inject some positivity into communication can also help to improve marital harmony. Making regular efforts to make some positive comments to the other person such as thanking for them for things they have done, complimenting them or sharing funny stories from your days can help to improve communication.
If you are looking for some help in resolving cycles of poor communication in your marriage it can be useful to see a marriage counselling professional.
Share29 July 2016
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